a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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