I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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