I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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