I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize