I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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