Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize