Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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