I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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