You just made me feel so damn special
Michael Bay diarrhea
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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