why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize