My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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