I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize