Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize