help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Text me some of your sweat
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