Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize