...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
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