This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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