i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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