I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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