Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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