mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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