Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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