It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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