i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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