I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
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You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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