That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize