I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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