I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize