I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
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God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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