if i can run in heels then i can drive
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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