people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
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Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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