I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize