dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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