Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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