I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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