i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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