i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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