She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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