sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize