Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My vagina is officially offended.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize