I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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