It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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