is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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