i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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