This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
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