you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize