yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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