I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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