if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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