I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize